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News Until You Puke

I listen to too much news. I think if I do not, the second coming, the spread of the tsunami, a meteor to come, the melting glaciers, a solar flare that could make me fry, an alien invasion or the next terrorist attack promised since long four years. Since I do not want to miss this, I listen to too much news.

Beause, I listen to too much news, I know too much about beheadings and bodies riddled with bullets. I know too much about car bombs and body parts lying around. A few days ago, they found a few dozen heads in boxes in Iraq. This is not a way to advance to war. I would not like to know about it, but I do it. I wonder where the others went. I only know this stuff because I watch and listen to too much news.

I know too much about too much. I used to listen to Limbaugh, but I do not think he sometimes thinks and O’Reilly is too pissed off, too smart and repressed for my taste, but I know these guys because I listen to too much news. I heard a few things … in the news about their personal lives, and it was pretty cool to know they were not as accurate as they would make me believe. I learned this on the news. I listen a lot, you know. I’m listening to Air America. Now, it’s a pretty innovative group if any. I love them. They scare me, but I like them. They say everything about the government and the government that all the other news I read about them makes me think. They make me feel that the thoughts I have about all the other news I’ve read are at least normal. At least I do not feel so alone in my reaction to all the news I read too much.

I know too much about politicians, especially Republicans who love Jesus so much, some of them seem to like making war more and more so he can come back or something he seems. They make love too, but often seem to get caught with the wrong people and even with the wrong sex. Yeah, but honest, I read it in the news. I read that Mrs. Bush left the Whitehouse recently because the Speaker was away with others … well. Wow, that’s a big news. I have not seen it on Fox or AOL, so maybe it’s not news or maybe it’s not news for the masses, who knows? Some news tells me that I will not see them because they will not be, so I guess we are losing. My God, the news even tells me that this president might not even be the real president and that so many people have seen their vote expelled, OK Democratic voters did it. It would be depressing, but it seems true to me. I heard that it’s true, on the news, twice!

Because of the news, I know too much about CEOs who take too many people to get rich. I mean a lot of them. The news makes me understand how many members of Congress and representatives can not count on the public, but the CEOs are becoming more and more talented. I see it in the news. Million dollar birthday parties, retreats that make God jealous, since he does not own all the cattle on a thousand hills after all. This former CEO does! Or at least he can. They all smile, because they always look so sorry AFTER being caught, and so shocked because they are so innocent, but I bet if no one realizes it, they would not be sorry and would not take more. But at least later, we would have more news. I read in the newspapers that Enron was just not distributing the power he said he did not have, but he did it and received a lot of money from seniors in California who were trying to stay warm or cool … I forget which one. Made me a little crazy. These guys went to jail, but I hope we do not read in the news that their best friend, Mr. President, forgives them or that something is wrong for him. I read in the news that he can do that. That worries me, because I also read that when the president left Texas as governor and was asked who was going to clean up after all the damage he had done, he said it was was not his problem. I hope I do not read, he repeated it when he left office this time. I bet he does. I read in the news once that people do not change much in their life and what they were, they still are.

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